yourlandladynotyourmanservant:
SHERLOCK THESE ARE NOT THE WORST THINGS ABOUT LIVING WITH YOU
#we will never be short of body parts #i do not approve of using the kitchen for something as silly as food #my brother will probably kidnap you every so often #our flat will be searched for drugs occasionally #the rent will fluctuate depending on bullet holes explosion damage or acid corrosion #also you will never be allowed any other friends
#none of your property is sacred#personal space is a non-issue#all your money are belong to me#you are expected not to leave the house unless following after myself#starving is always a possibility#as is ingesting toxins by mistake#insults will be issued on a regular basis#oh and don’t mind that smell it’s just Mrs Hudson in the flat below — she does enjoy her soothers…
#you will have to cook and do the washing up and even my laundry #and apologize to everyone on my behalf because i’m a twat #the violin-playing will be dismal and out of tune and not actually have any semblance to music#also it will be played at random times like four in the morning #you might be taken hostage or hurt every so often #and oh #you will have to do the shopping of course #don’t forget the milk
#You’ll be expected to come when I call#A bit like a dog actually#But a dog that understands text messages…#Actually speaking of text messages: you’ll be expected to send my texts when I am too lazy to do so myself and this includes times when you are half way across London and have to run all the way back#Also you’ll have to ignore your doctor’s instincts because I don’t take shit from anyone and I’ll neglect food and load up on excessive amounts of nicotine patches and punch sleep in it’s metaphorical face if I want to because I can and there’s nothing you can do about it#My brother will stop by more regularly than pleasurable and probably victimize you with insults you won’t even understand until three days later#Which I may also do at times#You’ll be doing all of the house keeping because our landlady is in fact not a housekeeper and I can’t be bothered to do anything about that but make bigger messes so good luck with that#The bills and all manner of unpleasant business will be your responsibility#Including dealing with Anderson after I tell him off#And you’ll inevitably have to deal with the fact that people are going to assume that I not only dominate all of your time and effort in every day life but also you in the bedroom#They’re going to call you gay John#Very very gay
THEY ARE GOING TO CALL YOU GAY JOHN
VERY VERY GAY
^
THE TAGS
Cartoon of the day. For more cartoons from this week’s issue: http://nyr.kr/wNE5nX
GPOY
-Joe
Yes, I’m one of those awful people that starts most of their stories with “So I heard this really fascinating piece on NPR…”
“If you are going to curse that much, turn it up so I can hear it” - house rule.
“People go up to him (Hugh Laurie) a lot and ask if he resents my success and is envious of the things I do…Being a Quizmaster and you know, a professional gaysexual, a mental health spokesman, Wagnerite, Twitter embarrassment, a 360 degree whore…while he can’t even afford to shave.”
-Stephen Fry on Hugh Laurie
I’ve had librarians say to me, “People in my school don’t agree with homosexuality, so it’s difficult to have your book on the shelves.” Here’s the thing: Being gay is not an issue, it is an identity. It is not something that you can agree or disagree with. It is a fact, and must be defended and represented as a fact.
To use another part of my identity as an example: if someone said to me, “I’m sorry, but we can’t carry that book because it’s so Jewish and some people in my school don’t agree with Jewish culture,” I would protest until I reached my last gasp. Prohibiting gay books is just as abhorrent…
Discrimination is not a legitimate point of view. Silencing books silences the readers who need them most. And silencing these readers can have dire, tragic consequences. Never forget who these readers are. They are just as curious and anxious about life as any other teenager.
| — | David Levithan - Supporting Gay Teen Literature (via cake-light) |
We’re all the weird friend in my group, really. XD
I’m the weird one in a crowded room and by myself. Sometimes I think and then I’m like “wow, I’m really weird”
I don’t think I’ve ever NOT been the weird one in a group of people…No, wait, there was that one time I went to a DW party. We were all equally weird there.
Perpetually. I am like a magnet for absurdity.
| — | Asha Zappa (via sleepydumpling) |
